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Today I turn 39......

Today is my birthday.  And if you know me, you know I love celebrating Birthday's!  It baffles my mind how some people fight it......WHY?  I always say, I would rather get older than the alternative!!!

2017 and 2018 have been especially INCREDIBLE years......Leah and her husband Greg just welcomed their baby girl, Lucy and she is an incredible little being already.  Such sparkle in her eyes!  And our sister Kristen and her husband will be welcoming their son this month.  And my own family is growing as we welcome our third baby, a boy in April.

This pregnancy has had me in a bit of a whirlwind.  Although I could not be happier I am SCARED TO DEATH pretty much every single day.  For the obvious reasons---39 and adding another baby, can I handle another baby, 3 kids under the age of 5---are we fucking crazy??? Adding to my growing family is my overwhelming need to make what we are doing at SaltyGirl and Foundation4Love a success.....which still needs constant attention.

And then there is that other FEAR---the fear you are afraid to say out loud.  I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer at 32 weeks in my last pregnancy, today I am 30 weeks pregnant.  Will it happen AGAIN?  Or will it come back when I have a 5, 4 and 1 year old or maybe 10, 9 and 6 year old..........I saw Joe Biden speak up in Portland a few nights ago. He was asked about how he has dealt with all the tragedy in his life, the death of his young wife and daughter and then the death of Beau.....and he said when I started feeling sorry for myself, my father would say, "why not you?  Why someone else?" My questions is why does this bad stuff have to happen at all.

Why do I share this?  I share this because the emotional battle with Cancer, and for that matter any disease that stays with us.  Over time it gets quieter......and it was starting to quiet until I got pregnant again and those pregnancy milestones started to remind me of my cancer milestones......I look forward to the quiet ones again.  hahaha

I share this because through Foundation4Love and our education and hopefully overall message with SaltyGirl we are giving back some sense of hope, strength, fight and LOVE!  We not only create it and share it with you but I do it for me as well!

A HAPPY AND HEALTHY 2018 to you all!





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